It's 4:43 in the morning on the day that I can officially move into my new place. It'll be my first new place in about 13 years and I am scared shitless. I have a bad mouth, might as well just start out that way. I'm getting divorced for the second time and apparently attempting to save money blogging instead of paying for therapy. In fact, I like to think that I am going to creatively problem solve my way in to figuring out how to pay for many things. I was going to start listing these many things, but got overwhelmed by it and think I won't. frankly it's quite boring. we know what they are.
I can't sleep. obviously. I woke up at 3:15 and started the worrying thing again--then it's the classic, stress chain reaction stomach. ugh. I'm 43 and soon to be 44 (kinda cool with the blog name, huh? I didn't plan that.) laying (or is it lying) in bed in the extra room in my mom's house. again. Not feeling very cool at all---the last time I was here it was about 13 years ago.
Don't really know what I'm attempting to do here---i'm also really trying not to label things right now (yeah) maybe I fancy myself a "Bridget Jones' Diary" kinda girl? maybe I hope that I will make lots of money and my blog will be made in to a movie (not lifetime network) and I say Chelsea Lately should play me. yep. she will so want to when she reads this. i'm feeling lonely, overwhelmed, old, tired--I mother fuckin' wanna go to sleep--what the hell am I doing right now kinda shit.
